The Goings-on of the mind of Laura (aka L², Lulu) *
- There is no cell phone or Internet service in the middle of nowhere.
- To avoid people, get a good map or GPS since back roads are NOT marked.
- Gas costs over $4 per gallon and a plate of iceberg lettuce will set you back 13 bucks.
- Peanut butter sandwiches melt in a hot car.
- Rental Cars may not have auxiliary jacks to play tunes from an MP3 player, making driving for hours into the middle of nowhere lonely and/or boring.
- How to change a flat tire. (see 2. above)
That’s a sample of what I’ve been going through here in Death Valley. Still, all in all, it has been an enjoyable time. Stay tuned for more…
I had no idea I was such a wonderful person. Just over lunch today, I learned that apparently:
- I Am Elated
- I Am Bueno
- I Am Ravishing
- I Am Awesome
- I Am Awakening
- I Am The Top
Next time I may Be Adoring or perhaps Lovely, Pleased and Smooth. OK, stop scratching your heads, dear Blogreaders. I will explain…
In my attempt to gain 25 pounds in my 25 days here in the great state of California I am trying every vegan-friendly eating establishment I can find. Today I made my maiden voyage (well, it was just a ride on MUNI) to Café Gratitude in San Francisco.
People are strange!
Let me pause here to say that even though I am not a Doors fan myself, if you don’t know who Jim Morrison is, you really have no right reading my blog. (And no, Gen-Z-ers, I don’t mean James Morrison, although I DO like his stuff!) That’s as crazy as not knowing what Craigslist is! 
(As an aside: Craig Newmark was the only person I recognized on a recent episode of the TV Game Show Identity. I’m such a geek!) …OK — I take that all back, except for me being a geek. I realize I’ve probably just alienated half of my 9-person readership. Well, maybe 2/3 of my readership since 4½ people wouldn’t make sense and it brings to mind scenes from a slasher movie. Yuck. But I digress…
Back to why people are strange: perhaps you’ve heard of “viral videos.” These are videos on the Internet which take the world by storm and acquire a sort of cult following with viewership in the millions. It’s a strange phenomenon that has made its way into the 21st century.
If spring has officially sprung, why the heck is there snow outside my window??!! Huh? WHY??!!
As much as I love my mittens-on-a-rope and my new-this-season, animal-friendly olive green parka, I really don’t want to wear them anymore! C’mon, Mamacita Nature!! Enough already!
People have fought for it, have been incarcerated for it, and heck, have even died for it. My country was founded on it 200+ years ago. Freedom. It’s an essential part of the human experience and it comes in so many varied forms: political freedom, spiritual freedom, interpersonal freedom. Freedom provides us with a sense of autonomy, independence and individuality.
So why am I rambling on about all this? Well, because a) that’s what this Blog is all about (see Blog title), and 2) I feel I’m making progress in my life and wanted to share. I am embarking on my own fight for freedom!
As some of you know, I’m planning on taking on the world at last. My long-time dream to travel the planet with a backpack and a laptop computer is coming to fruition. This has forced me to think of ways to simplify my life in order to make the most of this possibly-but-not-definitely once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. In order to experience the “freedom to” travel untethered (known as “positive liberty”, in philosophical jargon) I’ve needed to undergo “freedom from” certain things (”negative liberty.”)
What would you do with 200 or so spare wire hangers?
That’s a question I was faced with when I rid my closets of approximately 23 garbage bags full of clothing. (That final count will increase even more in the upcoming weeks and I will post the final tally of discarded clothing items on this Blog! Get very excited, Blogreaders!)
I thought of possible ways to make productive use of this metal wiry resource.
While standing on line at the main post office to pick up a friend’s mail, I noticed this sign on a door.
Hmm… if a door is not to be used as an exit or entrance, then what might it be used for?
• Do the postal workers use it to go surfing in the Hudson River during their breaks?
• Maybe the main post office is actually a sort of mail service frat house (
) and the door is used as a paddle to spank the rushes?
• Perhaps it’s used as a backup to beat the crap out of fellow employees or customers if an agitated postal worker runs out of rounds of ammo?
I wonder… Your thoughts, Blogreader??
You wouldn’t think so, right?
First, anyone who has ever spent some time on NYC’s mass transit system in the past 10 years knows what a MetroCard is – it’s a yellow flimsy plastic pre-valued card which provides access to the city’s subway and bus system. Now that the good ol’ fashioned coin-like tokens can only be found as cuff links at the Transit Museum store or perhaps among the Metropolitan Japanese Sword Club, the MetroCard is the only way to hop a ride on the train unless, of course, you hop the turnstile!
Second, anyone who has walked down a NYC street or who has stood on a subway platform has seen these yellow flimsy cards strewn all over the place. You’d think these things were bird seed or rat food the way they lie all over the ground here. How hard can it be to reuse the cards? They ARE refillable. But then again, I’m anal about recycling, so let me move off that pet peeve and on to another… how hard would it be to dispose of the cards in a garbage receptacle? Say what you will about NYC, but one (of the many) things it does right is place garbage cans everywhere! It’s hard to walk more than 50 feet before bumping into one. There’s really no excuse to litter. Then again, people spit on the sidewalk after alerting everyone of their impending spewing of phlegm with that raspy guttural sound that is nails on a chalkboard to me, so why should I be surprised that people toss MetroCards on the ground? Man, I’ve got to get me some lower standards!
At least mine do! Perfect vision, that is! Woo-hoo!!! I can see! I CAN SEE!!! Here I am at my desk looking out the window. 
I can read The “Merkin Concert Hall” sign which I wouldn’t have been able to do last week unless I were standing almost directly beneath it. I can read the parking space numbers in the lot behind my building! And oh my stars! You won’t believe what the folks in the 14th floor corner apartment across the street are doing! Hmm… maybe perfect vision has its drawbacks!
I have much more to say about the process so come back and visit soon for even more updates. Suffice it to say, everything is A-OK… or should I say Eye-OK?! A-EyeK?!
… and all through my stomach
Not a butterfly was fluttering
Not even a moth!
I know… it doesn’t rhyme. But cut me some slack, please! I’m about to go under the laser in a mere few hours! Geez!
I thought by now I’d at least start to feel nervous. I know LASIK has been performed hundreds of thousands of times and my chosen surgeon seems very capable but still, this is my eyesight we’re talking about. Still, I think I’ve been more nervous prior to getting my haircut than I am about my upcoming procedure/surgery! I guess all that meditation practice has paid off. I’m very much at peace!
Speaking of my “chosen surgeon”, as many of you know I asked for a lot of advice from a lot of people. I thank all of you for your recommendations and words of wisdom. It was a difficult choice to select a surgeon. I’m sure there are many good and bad ones here in NYC. Why did I choose the doctor I did? Well, to be honest, his logo won me over. Isn’t it absolutely adorable??!!
Seriously, I did have my own set of criteria and I will explain more in a separate blurb in case anyone out there reading this is considering LASIK and has any desire to know what worked for me.
Being the mildly eccentric freak that I am, I am of course making quite the event out of this, um, event. I have already warned Dr. Fox and the staff at the The Laser Center (TLC) that I will be arriving for my appointment with my own stuffed friend Sila and my own soundtrack to be played in the backround — I call it The LASIK Collection, Music to be Vaporized to. I’m planning on marketing it to future LASIK patients and laser centers throughout the world. I will also be wearing my Lucky Eye bracelet to ward off any evil eye spirits. Momma gave me this years ago. It’s the only jewelry (well, the only visible jewelry) I’ll wear into the laser center.
OK — I’m off to prepare for my big day before heading off to sleep. It may be a couple of days before I can post anything of substance regarding the outcome of the procedure, as I’ll likely be unable to sit at the computer for a day or two. I do plan on photo-documenting the day, so please stay tuned for updates. I’m sure it’ll be a hoot! Fingers crossed! Feel free to cross your eyes, too, just for the heck of it.